Payroll's quietest regular
Ghost
Employee
Never seen working. Always seen on payroll.
Still Employed
Every weekday, his badge taps the lobby reader at 9:03. The elevator opens, the office lights blink, and one swivel chair turns slightly. Nobody remembers assigning him a desk, a manager, or a password. Payroll remembers him perfectly. By five, the coffee remains untouched, the inbox remains empty, and his direct deposit has already cleared. Facilities keeps replacing the nameplate anyway.
Two Shifts
Office Presence
His badge arrives at 9:03; the rest remains professionally unavailable.
Payroll Presence
His salary lands on time, fully rested and entirely free of fingerprints.
After Hours
He reviews the untouched desk quietly until the fluorescent lights surrender at midnight.
Terms of Employment
Keep the badge visible
Identification handles most face-to-face responsibilities.
Decline every meeting
Silence passes for focused independent work.
Leave the mug spotless
Coffee rings could establish physical presence.
Submit nothing early
Completed work invites dangerous questions from management.
Collect every Friday
Payroll fears follow-up more than unexplained retention.
See you at work, if payroll asks.